What I don't get...

Kate at Webster's Updates shared this great link party she found, and I have to join in!

Da Mainiacs hosts the "What I Don't Get Thursdays" party and I have to agree with what she says:

"Have you ever said to yourself, "What I don't get..." and then run on an tangent about that subject that you don't get? Well, I find myself doing the same thing. Often. Actually quite often. This world holds a lot to be curious about."

Yup.  I am nodding to that!  Without further ado, here is my addition to What I Don't Get Thursdays:

1. Why is it that every time I sit down to eat, the phone rings?  It's always someone important, I'm not talking about telemarketers.  Same thing happens when I go to the bathroom, or when I sit down to watch a TV show I've looked forward to watching... RING! RING!  I just don't get it.
2. I don't get why I can't sleep more than 4 hours at a time without interruption.  I don't even have kids!  It's my pets, the phone (grrr), my husband (who tries not to wake me, but still), or the doorbell.  I am a night owl, so my schedule is abnormal... I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised.  But even when I sleep during "normal" night hours, the cat decides to jump on my head or the dogs think they hear something and bark.  Why?
3. I don't get why my neighbors are so interested in my comings and goings.  They know more about my life than I do!  Sometimes I don't go in the front yard simply because they are all outside and would mob me the moment I opened the front door.  Sad, but true.
4. Why can I never remember to move the last load of laundry from the washer to the dryer before it gets stinky?  I hate having to re-wash - so wasteful! - but I forget almost every single time.  I don't get why I do that.
5. Golf.  I don't get golf.  I agree with Mark Twain: "Golf is a good walk spoiled."
6. I don't get people who leave hateful comments on blogs.  (Never happened to me, all my commenters are bundles of sunshine, sweetness, and encouragement, and I love them!)  I see blog comments on other sites which are downright nasty, and it makes no sense to me.  If you don't agree with the writer, fine!  Say so in a constructive and kind way.  If you are violently opposed to the writer's viewpoint, quit reading that blog.  Why people decide to become mean trolls is beyond me.
7. I don't get spending the same amount of money on a car as you would a nice house.  I see a $200,000 car driving down the road and I think of what just half that money would provide for Habitats for Humanity.  I know it's none of my business how people choose to (legally) spend their money, but seeing those cars always makes me a little sad.
8. I don't get why it is so hard to throw trash in the trash can instead of leaving it on the kitchen counter.  Why?  Throw it in the can, IT IS RIGHT THERE.
9. I am always losing socks.  I know everyone has this problem, but I still don't get it.  Where did they go?  Are my dogs eating them?  If the washing machine is the culprit, why aren't washing machine manufactures creating non-sock-eating washers?  We got to the moon how many years ago?  Seriously, what's the deal?
10. Why are all the grocery lines always empty when you walk in and a mile long when you're ready to check out?  Time of day seems to make no difference.  I don't get it.

Want to join in?  Add your thoughts to the party!

Brain Makeover

I have to admit something.
 
I am a messy person.  I procrastinate.  My house is usually messy, my laundry is almost never put away, and pretty much 100% of the time, I have dirty dishes in my sink.  I never have clean socks, so I steal my husbands, and then he never has clean socks.  I never make my bed in the morning.  Or any other time of day, for that matter.  My carpet always needs to be vacuumed and the glass shower is frightful.

The worst part?  The very worst I cannot believe I am telling you this part?

*takes deep breath*

I don't have a job, and I don't have children.  It's just me and my husband (and our pets).  That's it.

I have plenty of time to take care of my home.  It should be beautiful - always, not just on special occasions or when someone comes to visit.  And I am so angry with myself for allowing us to live this way.  It is embarrassing and depressing, and I don't know what is wrong with me!  I truly don't understand why I do such a horrible job at such a simple thing.

The most confusing part is that I want to be the person who takes care of my home.  When I had a job, I fantasized about not having to work, making breakfast for my husband every morning, keeping my home beautiful, about how, if it wasn't for the pesky 8-5 job, my house would be perfect.  After losing my position to downsizing, and because of my husband's job, I was able to stay home.  And... nothing changed.  If anything, it is worse because now we are both in the house, messing it up, all day long.  (My husband works from home.)

I don't get it.  It should be simple, right?  Just clean already!  

I'm truly not lazy by nature.  At least not any lazier than your average person.  When I have a craft project, or fixate on something I want to get done, watch out!  I am all energy and effectiveness!  Life is beautiful!  Look at me go!  But then.... boom.  I hit bottom again, and everything comes to a standstill.

Now, if this isn't getting real enough for you, I will get even "realer". (I know, not a word, but whatever.)

I suffer from depression (which I imagine you could have guessed) and I am super sensitive to criticism, which my completely frustrated husband has every reason to dole out.  The whole reason that he agreed to letting me stay home was because I painted this picture of how wonderful our life would be if I could stay home and take care of everything.  I believed in that picture, I could see it, sometimes thinking about it was what got me through the day.  I simply have never made it happen with any consistency.  And my inner bully tells me every single day how much I suck, how severely I have failed, and how I will never ever make that picture a reality.

It hurts.  It hurts me, it hurts my husband, it hurts our marriage (which has all it's own problems without the addition of this one). 

I have to stop listening to all the negative.  I have to replace it with something better, something positive, something that doesn't pull me to pieces. 

I am trying.

I am trying to believe in myself.

I will believe in myself.

I would never talk to anyone -ANYONE- they way I talk to myself.  I don't care how rotten a person is, I would never ever say (or think)  the mean and damaging things about them that I think about me.  It's NOT RIGHT that I do that, it's evil and wrong and I WILL stop! 

I am praying for help, and I believe that God hears me.  I ask Him to clean my mind and heal my heart and to guide me.  The obstacles I face are not that I hide from housework.  The real obstacle is I have sold myself on the idea that I cannot succeed.  I must overcome and find my faith in myself again.  And that means that negativity and criticism HAS TO STOP.  It breaks me, and I cannot allow it in my life anymore.

I don't know why I am sharing this here.  I meant for this to be a safe place, with happiness and crafts and pretty things.  Don't worry, it will be - for me it is!  But the words are just spilling out of me today, and perhaps it is for reasons which are beyond my knowledge.  I believe that God works through us in ways we may never know, and I truly believe deep in my heart that He will teach me a way through this destructive jungle I am lost within.  And most of all, I believe He loves me, even when I don't know how to love myself.

Thank you for sticking with me.  It matters more than you know.

Speaking of God's work, I read a wonderful idea at Spying on the Swinney's (I can't find the actual post to link to, grrr) about making a chore list with planned breaks.  I created one for myself and am using it today to great success!  Hooray!  I ROCK! (See that positive affirmation?  Aw yeah.)

Here is my list:

It is long, yes, but I am not pressuring myself to get everything done All At Once (which has been one of my stumbling blocks, instead of cleaning methodically, I get myself all worked up in a cleaning frenzy which scares the dogs and wears me out for days afterwords.  No more!)

I don't have to think when I use this list.  I'm not planning what to conquer next, worrying about the most effective way to clean the wholelivingroom now it's timetovaccumeverywhere bright shiny object hurry hurry this is such a mess, I suck.

Nope.  Just nice and simple.  Follow the list.  Mark it off.  TAKE A BREAK AND BE PROUD OF WHAT I ACHIEVED.

Thank you, Lord, for guiding me to a blog that had just the right idea for me.  Thank you, Connie Lynn, for writing it!  (Sorry that I can't find the actual post, if I do I will add it here, but she has a wonderful site that is truly worth reading, so it's okay.)

* UPDATE:  I found the post!

Maybe someone out there needed to hear my thoughts.  I know I needed to share them.

Thank you.

*takes deep breath, hits publish*

MAKEOVER time!

True Mantle Confessions:

The Boredom Files

Here, in all it's non-glory, is my fireplace: Ugh. Blah. Ick.
I'm SO over it.

The Details:

• 
  
  Builder-white walls. Can't paint because I rent and don't want to invest in painting 20 foot high walls that don't belong to me. Also, am lazy.
• 
  
  White fireplace. See above.
• 
  
  White mirror. Scared to commit to another color... but ready for a change.
• 
  
  Cream scrolly iron candlesticks. Disappear into wall color, time to paint.
• 
  
  Gold-y candlesticks. Yawn. Need new paint.
• 
  
  Red candles. Never burned. Also yawn. Wrap in pretty paper maybe?
• 
  
  Red votive holders. (One somehow moved to wrong side of clock, grrr.) Glow prettily when lit, but kinda bored with them. Re-vamp?
• 
  
  Valentine's heart decorations. Oh, so lazy! Take them down!
• 
  
  Little blue birdy. LOVE! Keep in new mantle-scape!
• 
  
  Grandma's antique clock. LOVE! MUST stay where it is.
• 
  
  Almost perfectly symmetrical set-up. Yuck. I want excitement, and this is not it.

(click photos to biggify)

The bottom of the fireplace... hmmm. I love the screen, the fireplace itself isn't working right now, so I light the tealights in the fireplace screen instead (pretty!). Definite keep. Fireplace tools are clearly not needed, but I like pretending. The little basket holds scented pine cones, but I think I can do better.

The Challenge:

• 
  
  Spend as little money as possible.
• 
  
  Repurposing and re-vamping are a must.
• 
  
  Use what I have on hand: books, paper, paint, decorations that have no home

Think I can do it?

~

I'll share my progress with you here- I plan to start playing with elements today. Spray painting and rummaging through my house are on the immediate agenda! I can't wait to show you what I come up with!

~

Have you re-made a mantel lately? Have one you CANNOT STAND like I do? I'd love to hear from you! Leave a comment, and if you've blogged about it, link it baby!

~

And, as always, I'm happy for any tips you lovelies wish to share. Trust me, I need the help.

Understanding Your Crafty Spouse

10 Things Etsian Spouses* Should Know:

1. Meals are no longer a priority, if you wanna eat, you'll have to make it yourself. Sorry, honey. Oh, and bring me a sandwich?
2. Spending 14 hours a day on Etsy is totally acceptable, anything else shows lack of commitment.
3. Wondering why there are no sales? So are we. Let's post in the forums.
4. Reacting to the lack of sales by spending more money on supplies is normal and quit making those faces about it.
5. Holding your head in your hands when your significant other wants to open a second shop will not prevent the second shop from being opened.
6. A good hand massage after hours spent crafting/typing is always appreciated. (Butt massages can't hurt either.)
7. Sometimes we will forget to bathe. A gentle reminder to wash may lead to us wailing, "But I need to upload more pictures!"
8. Saturday nights will be spent promoting sales in the forums. Plan on watching TV. We are with you in spirit. (Please TiVo anything interesting. Not that we'll ever make time to watch it.)
9. The only room in the house we will keep clean is our studio/office/craft area. The vacuum is in the closet.
10. We love you and love your support. Please continue to love us as we slowly go off or rocker and start babbling about views and hearts in our sleep. Eventually we will shower.

And now, pics of my latest project that left my poor sweet husband deserted until the wee hours of the morning:

Other earth-shattering news:
A few days ago BendingPeak and I met to go shopping, and although all the stores were closed, (wtf?) we consoled ourselves with margaritas and had a wonderfully tipsy time. And she gave me one of her fabulous pockets! You should be so jealous! Mwahahaha!

And if you haven't seen it yet, please go check out my spectacular new banner, created by the multi-talented and super-sexay BecharmedStudio!

I feel so lurved. :)

*Dedicated to my ever-patient, always-supportive, sometimes-frustrated, super-understanding, sexy-hot-hunk-of-man, truly darling husband. Thank you for feeding me and making me shower. We should totally get busy.